Five Friday Randoms

1. In Red Deer, Alberta, in April, Jesse Maggrah, 20, listening through earphones to heavy-metal music while walking on Canadian Pacific Railway tracks, was hit from behind by a train moving at about 30 mph, but survived. In his hospital bed (broken ribs, punctured lung, other injuries), Maggrah said he remembers the immediate aftermath: "I thought, 'Holy crap, dude, you just got hit by a train.'" "Maybe the metal gods above were smiling on me, and they didn't want one of their true warriors to die on them." [Edmonton Sun, 4-18-06]


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3. The Edmonton Oilers have made it to the Western Conference Finals in the NHL for the first time in more than a decade. Last year, Edmonton had to sit by while rivals Calgary Flames made it to the finals. Now, Flames fans get to sit by and watch in their stead. It's about time. The Oilers' series games have been reported as the best of the playoff season to this point. There is talk in Edmonton of a championship run, but they also use the ubiquitous sports euphemism: One game at a time.

4. Earlier this week Money Magazine reported the results of Google's "see what people are searching for" lists. Using IP address information from their server logs, they've come up with the following:

Salt Lake City ranks first nationally in searches for "pornography,"” "strip tease,"” "“nudity,"” "“naked girls,"” "“gay pix,"” "“masturbation"” and "“masturbating."” We rank second nationally in searches for "“hot sex"” and "“big boobs"” and the rather innocuous descriptor of "“naughty."” We rank first and third in searches for female genitalia both in terms and manner that cannot be described here. We fall into third and fourth place in searches for subjects under the heading of "“lesbian"” and "“lesbo,"” respectively. Disturbingly, our fair city ranks fifth in searches regarding "“incest."”

I'’ve since taken a shower following my rigorous research but find it interesting on several levels. LDS Church members will no doubt boil these rankings down to the scourge of this city's Gentile populace, but I'’ve other hunches. When authority forces something as all-powerful as human sexuality into the forbidden zone, the curious are bound to sneak a peek or two, or three or four. Few entities beside the LDS Church have given Internet pornography so much publicity as of late.

The irony is, of course, delicious, even more so when served with a generous helping of hypocrisy. A fleet of Hummers adorned with "Support Our Troops" decals could not top it. Freud himself would feel compelled to rework his theories of repression, sublimation, fixation and regression. Because if Google'’s methodology is even half as accurate as it hopes, it seems clear that a lot of us have no need to sublimate our sexual desires.

5. This afternoon I had to run an errand from my office in mid-valley, down to 110 South and State St. On my way, I was turned back at state and 8000 South due to the amount of water in the tunnel there. The fire department had the road closed. As I got to where I was going, the rain hit me again, and about stuck me in my car... what a total deluge.

Funny thing is, as I was driving back, I was thinking to myself that I was feeling like Noah. There was lots of water.

Then I turned the corner, looked up and found myself staring at a sign that said: Ararat Foreign Engine Repair.

I laughed out loud. A bit Ironic.

The picture here is Mt. Ararat, where Noah's Ark is alledged by some to be lodged, discovered a while back.