5.25.2006

Absurdly Irresponsible Marketing for Absurdly Inefficient Vehicles

This week the marketing geniuses at GM announced a promotion to new buyers to help them swallow the massive gas price tag that comes along with single-digit-MPG vehicles.

The pitch: Buy one of these babies over here, and we'll give you a gas rebate, never letting YOUR price for a gallon of gas go over $1.99!!!
Freakin' GENIUS!! The guy who thought that up over a 6-pack of Red-Bull and a big bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos should be given a MASSIVE bonus! Really, I'm not kidding.

Have you ever seen such a brazen show of corporate-team-player-mentality, in the face of near total public disgust at your company's products? It's incredible! He's the HERO!

How does the guy sleep? Nicely, thanks, because I just got a huge bonus - I figured out how to get these land-yaghts
off the lots of our poor suffering dealers across the country, AND I cleared the path for the company to ship even MORE of them!! I'm BRILLIANT!! Pass me another one of those redbulls... I'm still workin on getting the company to make those Bradley Fighting Vehicles for sale in the consumer market - that baby is gonna ROCK!

The offer is good for 2006 and 2007 model year vehicles. In California, eligible vehicles are the Chevrolet Tahoe and Suburban sport utility vehicles and Impala and Monte Carlo sedans; the GMC Yukon and Yukon XL SUVs; the Hummer H2 and H3 SUVs; the Cadillac SRX SUV.


They make you sign up for the On-Star service (again, BRILLIANT upsell), as that is how they track where you are, and how many miles you've driven, via the same feedback chip that tells the owner when it's time for service, or it has diagnosed another problem. They then send you a rebate. 1000 miles per month could get you $107 per month credited back to you via a pre-loaded debit card.


It's all about the Price-Per-Share for the shareholder, after all, we need to make that platinum-lined bonus for the CEO.


yay. that's just great. way to help out, GM. so much for corporate responsibility. (
full story here)

4 comments:

Reach Upward said...

Last quarter GM made a profit of $152 million. That sounds nice until you realize that they had a $4.8 billion (with a 'b') loss the previous quarter. Some say bankruptcy is inevitable, while other say that GM will be in the black next year. It all comes down to sales volume.

One GM spokesman says here that $3/gallon gas won't hurt land yacht sales because "the people who want full-size sport utilities and pickups want them for a reason and those needs are not fulfilled by any other vehicle."

In other words, heavy gasoline usage is as much the car buyers' fault as it is the manufacturers' fault. They stop manufacturing stuff that doesn't sell. On the $1.99 gas thing, like every other sales gimmick, they will still get their money. Buyers will still pay for it one way or another. There are always strings attached. If buyers fall for the gimmick, I assume they are purposefully gullible. They want what they want, and the gimmick simply gives them an excuse to buy it. Many in our society have difficulty understanding why personal restraint (in anything) should be considered a virtue.

Dillhole said...

Hey, where can I get one of those big ass limo-trucks, and does it come with the trailer hitch testicles?

see: http://www.bumpernuts.com

That One Guy said...

Reach: As usual, it all comes down to the old adage "Follow The Money"

This just gives that consumer who can't see past the burning desire.

DillHole: Hillarious. That's one of those "compensation" things. :)

That One Guy said...

This just gives that consumer who can't see past the burning desire, the reason he needed to go ahead and buy the behemoth...

helps to finish your thoughts.

:)