How to pay your taxes this year...

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Accordingly, I am enclosing four toilet seats (value: $2,400.00) and six hammers (value: $1,029.00), bringing my total remitted to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund" as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending the candidate of your choice the one, attached 1.5-inch Phillips Head screw (see USA Today article detailing how HUD paid $22.00 each for 1.5-inch Phillips Head screws).

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

A Satisfied Taxpayer

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