A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
"So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now back off, biker boy, or you'll answer to me'!"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" he asked.
"Just a couple of minutes ago," the man replied.