Note to Plaxico Burress

Hey Plaxico,

If you're going to hurry off the field and put your hat on sideways like a playa, for all the cameras, you shouldn't SUCK on the field at the same time.

One catch - fumbled. When it hits you in the numbers, you should probably CATCH IT. I'm just sayin'.

Yeah, you a playa. Have a seat right here on the bench. Eli needs more from you, man. Like, on the field, I mean. Leave the visor in your tricked-out Yukon, until you can play along. (oh, and Eli, try looking for my man, Shockey - he's open all the time... look for him - he'll take it to the zone for you.)

And in other football news - Terrell Owens - NFL freakshow and spoiler for every team he's ever played for, has reportedly tried to commit suicide yesterday.

The dude has been a walking circus act since he entered the (his) league six years ago. Some highlights:

Dec. 15, 2002: Celebrates a TD catch in a loss to Green Bay by taking pompoms from a cheerleader and dancing behind the end zone.
Oct. 14, 2002: Celebrates a TD catch on Monday Night Football by pulling a marker from his sock and autographing the ball.
Aug. 13, 2004: In interview with Playboy magazine, when asked if he thinks Garcia is gay, responds: "Like my boy tells me: If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat."
Nov. 7, 2004: Cameras follow as he yells at Donovan McNabb on the sideline during a loss to the Steelers.
Oct. 31, 2004: Now with the Eagles, mocks Baltimore linebacker Ray Lewis during an end zone celebration.
Nov. 3, 2005: In an ESPN.com interview, says the team would be better off with Brett Favre starting at QB than with injured McNabb and blasts the team for not marking his 100th career TD catch.
July 5, 2006: "T.O.", the second setting-the-record-straight autobiography Owens has written in 22 months, is released five days ahead of schedule. The biggest revelation: His relationship with Philadelphia quarterback Donovan McNabb soured for good when Owens was told "Shut the (expletive) up" in a huddle. McNabb later calls the autobiography a "children's book."


RiveterGirl said...

As much as I love football (even though Penn State is on the road to Patheticville once again this season), I'm more and more discouraged by the antics of the players.

I mean they are given grossly outrageous sums of money to play a sport (albeit one of the best sports ... curling excepted, of course) and they have created a code of conduct that would not be acceptable in kindergarten.

What's wrong with this picture?

That One Guy said...

I say the same things about the NBA as well. Imbeciles.

RiveterGirl said...

Being that I'll pretty much watch any sport, I've developed a disinterest in basketball. I think because it seems like a lot of running and scoring ... and those long basketball shorts, they're not "shorts" at all — they should be called "longs."

That One Guy said...

Funny... "Hey honey, do you remember where I put my basketball longs?"

Damn, I'm old.