Some Lists:

Yesterday when I posted my crankery with regard to DirecTV, I was also going to post a random list of other things/people who bug the crap out of me. But the post was long, and the time short. Without further ado, then, here are some of those. See if you agree:

This bugs me to no end:

1. Girls (mostly) who drive and text message at the same time.
2. People who talk with their mouths full to overflowing. (This is the worst.)
3. People who slurp.
4. People who don't smell good, and yet have no idea.
5. People who tie up a golf course repeatedly thinking they can drive the green, or reach a five in two, when there is never any proof of such ability. Ever.
6. People who speed up in order to NOT let you in.
7. People who judge others too quickly, or do so using poorly chosen metrics.
8. 50 year olds who marry 14 year olds, and think that's okay.
9. People who are fine with offloading their jobs on other people.
10. People who ask you to do things, but don't give you enough information to do what has been asked of you.
11. People who write or speak poorly, even though it is part of their job to do so.
12. People who spend their entire lives living in negative mental space.

Flame if you will, that is your prerogative.

And speaking of lists, here are two more. I saw this a week or two ago, and thought it was such a great idea, that I would steal it for here. The premise is this: Name your dream golf foursome - with you as one of the players. However, I'm going to change it just a bit. Therefore, I present for your consideration, my two lists, naming those with whom I would most like to dine:

First list - people who are alive today:
1. Me
2. Jack Nicklaus - so I can ask him about his golf and business life.
3. Brad Pitt - so we can discuss architecture (I would set a place at the table-next to me-for his lovely wife. Pitt would be sitting ACROSS the table.... ) (bonus!)
4. Quincy Jones - so we can discuss music, but not Michael Jackson

Second list - people who are decidedly NOT alive:
1. Me - although I am not dead.
2. Luciano Pavarotti - I would love to learn everything about his life.
3. Leonardo Da Vinci - Artist, sculptor, inventor, architect - what more can one ask ?
4. Frank Lloyd Wright - I would ask him if he did indeed have an affair with Ayn Rand, which has been highly speculated upon. And many other things
5. Bonus Person: Miles Davis - I would like to get inside his head at about 1945.

So who's at YOUR dinner table??

And also, some of those ladies on Wayne and Garth's list up there are on my list too. Odd. And Kim Basinger, WHY WON'T YOU EVER RETURN MY PHONE CALLS??? You KNOW I'm calling you, it's hard to ignore 20 calls per day. Seriously. Just call me back.


Liva said...

Why do you want to know everything about Pavarotti's life? I found that interesting.

OneHungMan said...

Number 5 on your first list pisses off OHM. Though he can sometimes be guilty of waiting for a par-five to clear. He has a defense, however, and feels you probably have the same issue.

Let's say your 230 yards away (or however far is your max) and you can reach the green in two with a good/great shot (not a once in a lifetime shot). OneHung encounters the following problem:

If he waits, he typically wastes time because he just ends up chunking the ball and sending it flying 160 yards. However, if you go ahead and hit because you're fairly convinced you're going to chunk it, well, that's when OHM finds the green with the ball as he watches golfer scatter.

For evidence of this, you could have witnessed OHM on the sixteenth hole at Rolling Hills in Newburgh, IN this past week. After hitting the balls, his next words were a series of "Guys, I'm so sorry."

Cameron said...

I passed a #1 on the freeway this morning. The entire right side of I-15 was backed up, so I assumed there must be a wreck or something. Nope. I moved over to the left lanes and there she was, completely oblivious.

#6 gives me road rage. I envision myself with a James Bond car equipped with missiles. Those people deserve to die. What is it with this state and merging? Actually, I guess it's not just this state because I had the same thing happen to me in Boise a couple of weeks ago. (That's Boise with an "s", not a "z")

#8 makes me wonder. Why are all the 14 year olds in jail, and not the 50 year olds?

That One Guy said...

Liva: I want to know how he was discovered, I want to know what it took for him to rise to the absolute top of his profession. I want to know who his teachers were. I want to know who inspired him. As famous as he was, I don't know all that much about him, and I'd really like to. I want to know what his favorite roles are, etc.

Hung: My beef this the dude wearing the Nascar hat, who dribbles it off the tee every time, and has never hit anything off the deck more than 130 yards. That's the guy that bugs the hell out of me.

Cameron: You're stealing a post from me. They have the wrong people in custody for sure. One of the men on the news last night said that he thought it was okay to be married to a 14 year old, by Texas law. But He didn't answer when they asked him about being married to 4 14 year olds. Idiots.

OneHungMan said...

TOG-you're referring to the guy who drives the ball 215 yards down wind, but waits on the par-5 because he's convinced he's going to pure his 2-iron from 240?

That One Guy said...

That's the guy - you mean he plays at your place too??

He's the one that rips a divot the size of a small farm animal.