11.21.2006

Fizzled Posts: Brett Favre, OJ Simpson, Nintendo Wii

I started a post about how Brett Favre needs to retire. Brett, we love you, you'll never be forgotten. Forget about the record book - you're one of the two or three true iron-men of the sport. Dan Marino doesn't have a ring. Your legacy is intact. They'll probably name a small town after you. Just. Be. Done.

I started a post about how OJ Simpson needs a cranial douche, and how obvious it was that Fox would be the only network to agree to be the shill for his book. But then even THEY cancelled the promo interview, and now the publisher has decided not to publish the book. OJ, go sit on a beach somewhere, and let the sun warm your bad knees. I have a feeling we already know how it was done. Just. Go. Away.

I started a post about how much I hate the holiday retail season. I hate the morons who think they need to get out there at 4 AM Friday morning to get 1 of only 11 products in a store. I hate that Sony would send out only 200,000 units of a game when they promised to send out 4,000,000. (They should have put them all online and be done with it - but THAT doesn't produce the kind of media attention they are after, does it?) Anyone with a brain realizes that they are just trying to create value based on the demand. And we, the loyal Pavlovian consumers we are, will stand in line for days to be the first. Others of us will take the easy way out and resort to violence to get it instead. Shame on all you people who succumb to that whole game!

I started a post about how this season has turned into one of "getting" instead of "giving". It brings out the vast divide between the "haves" and the "have-nots". Which is the opposite of its intention. I hate that. It makes me feel like an over-used ATM machine. It's. Not. Right.

But I didn't post any of them. I've been too busy.

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