Something about me

When you first start blogging, like any new little hobby, you spend a lot of time looking at your site, looking at others, reading others, leaving comments, looking at your stats, wondering why you only have three hits a day, participating in and tagging others for participation in memes, etc.

And as a product of that time, I, like everyone else, have a "100 things about me" type of post.

Here are two things that are not on that list:

1. When I brush my teeth, I do in front of the sink, with the cold water running full blast. If I don't do this, I am wont to GAG. The sound of brushing teeth to me is disgusting and putrid, and I need the sound of the water to drown it out. (That picture over there even makes me wanna gorp.) When our kids were very young they would say things like, Dad, Barney says to turn off the water when you brush your teeth, because it wastes water to just let it run like that. My reply was always, It wastes less water to let it run now, than to clean up the puke all over the floor when I blap on the floor.

Similarly, when I see someone else who is brushing their teeth, NOT in the bathroom, I instinctively have the impulse to gag. People who walk around with a toothbrush hanging out of their mouths need their eyes poked out. I saw someone DRIVING while while brushing their teeth the other day, and I almost flurbed in my own lap.

2. I have roughly the same reaction to people who chew with their mouths open, and talk at the same time. Dude, I can wait to hear what you have to say til after you swallow, I promise. I'm not going anywhere. When I go out with people who do this, I seek (sometimes aggressively) to sit beside them, because I can't stomach the idea of sitting across from them in a dinner conversation. This leads them to believe I really want to sit beside them, but really I just want to hold my dinner down for the entire time, and I don't want to witness the gaping maw that is their eating habits.

I come from a time and place, although I don't know how I got this way, but I know how to signal the waiter, with where I place my fork and knife, that I am finished with my plate. I tend to tip really well (20%) for those who know this and respond quickly to the signal. We went out for dinner with the kids a couple of weeks ago, and I only tipped 5%, but it wasn't because they didn't clear my plate promptly. It was more about not getting my entire meal at the same time, not getting it while it was hot (one of my MAJOR meal pet peeves, whether at home or out to eat), and not getting all the meals for the table at the same time, and having to ask for more to drink. I'm also not above writing on the back of the credit card ticket either. I've actually had a waitress follow me out to the parking lot to ask why I hadn't tipped her well. So I told her. Just trying to help.


Loralee Choate said...

Dude. I almost gagged READING those. Let's just say I have issues in those areas as well.

Being a waitress was one of the most difficult jobs I've ever had.

I loved it, but there is so much you have to do besides the actual serving part that it can be horrifying. The pay is not the best, either. Even in the nicer establishments because you often have to share them with the bussers and hostesses.

I was a great server. I did receive a couple of complaint cards, but honestly? It was usually about something beyond my control. I never minded them. I like to be served well when I go out, too. (I hear you on the drink refills!)

I got many, many more written compliments so it's all good.

Anonymous said...

I start a waiter out at 20%. If service is good, timely, subtle and so forth it remains at 20%. Should I have to ask for anything (Obviously if I want persimmons with my meal I wouldn't presume they should know that) then they get docked 1%. As you know from our visit this summer, I am not afraid to walk out with my only tip being..."you should get a new job".

As for the tooth brushing thing...since having my jaw broken, I can not stand to have a toothbrush in my mouth. It honestly makes me gag. I have learned through the joys of an ultrasonic toothbrush how to cut the time into seconds and I maintain my pearly whites. Do yourself a favour and order one...pricey but oh so worth it!

Sarah Bellum said...

Buy a Sonicare, the sounds are much better.

And who knew there were so many words for puke.

That One Guy said...


It's better, but still very gross.

Just sayin'.

Bear Bites said...

Server's who allow my water glass to go empty get 5%.