I've decided to start a new gang.

I've noticed an uptick recently. Yes, I have. I've noticed more punk-driven cars toting images on their back window - it seems there are more of those Air Jordan icons/logos around, along with more of the Nike logos as well.

It's not news that young thugs seem to identify with sports teams or specific players. You've seen the "Raiders" logos out there - along with the associated morons who stick them on their cars, wear the jackets, etc. Along with the Lakers, among several others as well.

My problem with these dorks is that they have probably never played competitive sports, unless you count the weekend break-and-enters, car burglaries, or home invasions. But they're all about the Jordans, or the Raiders, or the Lakers, or the Nuggets, or the Sixers... to which I say WHATEVER.

I've decided to start my own gang in response. But my logo won't be the Air Jordan icon, or the Nike Swoosh, or a team logo. No, it'll be a cartoonish picture of Charles Barkley, and my gang will be for all older men who once thought they were really good at sports, but now are fat, bald, and opinionated, use profane language, and play golf really poorly. That's my gang, and we're going to take back the streets. And this is how we're gong to play golf: