7.10.2008

Bringing Product to Market:

You know the Murphy's Law about how the Jelly side of the toast always lands on the floor. And you know the law about a cat always landing on its feet.

I'm working on a product I'm calling Cat-Toast. Maybe Feline Fried Bread? Tabby-Toast? Hairless Wonder Bread? Something like that.

We'll see how it goes.

On another note, in addition to the Boob Bowl, I like the wall-mounted Boob Bar as a conversation starter.












I think there is merit there, just trying to figure out what it is right now.

And on even ANOTHER note, I would like to relate to you an observation:

I was duped into going to Lagoon on July 4th. Being duped into going to Lagoon happens to me about every third or fourth year. I am not a fan of this place. But generally the kids like it, and I acquiesce every once in a while.

What can I say, sometimes I bend, people.

Anyway, I get within 500 yards of the gate, and I feel a strange sensation in my back pocket - an odd magnetic pull on my wallet. As I get closer, the feeling turns into a full-on vacuuming sound as the place sucks the money directly from my pants.

So, as I said, I had not been there in a few years, and every time I go there I swear I'll never set foot in the place again. I generally loathe the place.

So we go in and ride a couple of rides with the kids, and find a place to drop our stuff to wait for the fireworks, sending the kids off to be more daring than I was willing to be. By this time I have sustained a mild whiplash, the mechanical equivalent of a kidney punch, and a general loss of sensory function as a result of more-than-I-like centrifugal/G-forces. "I'm getting too old for this" was the direct quote from me to ThatOneWife. She concurred with my assessment. Oh, and I was also subjected to a hamburger that both looked and tasted like the underside of a manhole cover.

All of that I could live with. But here's the kicker. I'm a bit of a people watcher. A societal observer, if you will. And here are my findings: the place is filled with wife-beater wearing teenage thugs/gang-bangers-in-training, general trailer/white trash, fat mexican slobs/sluts masquerading as Puerto Rican Princesses to appeal to the above-mentioned thugs and bangers, Keystone Light drinking Nascar fans, and fat people in DIRE need of a shower, haircut, and/or some major personal maintenance. Many of these groups are NOT mutually exclusive either.


I'm just sayin'.

4 comments:

for what it's worth said...

ah, you forgot to mention the (and I am going to use this term both liberally and with caution) loonies who are hot after your beautiful daughter. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard while waiting in a 2 hour line to watch TOW and TOD fly above our heads. He was some kind of special huh?

And now given how much Daughter likes rides and Quark likes rides with a broken vertebrate, you may never have to go there on our account again.

Reach Upward said...

My workplace has a subsidized event there each year, so each year we make a sojourn. Even with the employer subsidy the place vacuums cash from the pockets.

I too am amazed at the people that wander around the place. Given the way some appear, it is amazing that they can somehow afford this experience. They can afford leisure and vice, but can't put groceries on the table?

The scariest things are the early teen and pre-teen season ticket holders that roam the place unsupervised in packs. Little girls that dress and act like street walkers hang on little boys that have yet to develop armpit hair, and yet dress and act like they're studying to spend their lives as wards of the state.

On the most recent trip a couple of weeks back, I had to spend a wad of cash to make sure that each of my three younger children won a stuffed animal to add to the large collection they already have at home. The good part is that I don't have to go back there until next summer.

Cameron said...

But the rides are pretty cool, and if you pick a non-insane day (fourth of July, are you kidding?) the lines aren't too bad. But it's crazy hot.

And if you think teens walk around Lagoon looking like street walkers, try Lagoon's water park.

Becky..AMHW said...

We go to Lagoon in October. Less traffic, way cooler. We picnic before, at the Farmington public park, then head on in. They try to tell us where to park at Lagoon, but we always park behind the white coaster. The kids like to walk under it.

A big plus? That swim park isn't open and people aren't running around in badly fitting bikini tops. It's never the people you want to see in a bikini.

I like Lagoon in general. Glad I never worked there though.