Things retailers don't like:

So, I'm standing in the Eddie Bauer store at a local mall over the weekend. I wanted a couple of new plain T-shirts, and I like the Eddie Bauer ones.

I walk in there, and their long sleeve ones are on the top shelf. No problem, thinks I.

So I reach up and grab the right size off the pile on the top shelf. That's when the fun started. As I pulled it off the pile, the corner of it grabbed the ALUMINUM signage, which was apparently just SITTING on the shelf. Without warning, down it came, and I swear, it tried to decapitate me. I was lucky to escape with a gusher across my already prominent brow.

In addition to the humiliation of a sign falling and hitting me, the SOUND that an aluminum sign makes on the floor apparently makes the employees believe I have tried to steal something. The moron attendant came trotting over TO MAKE SURE HIS SIGN WAS OKAY.

So what did he say to me, you ask? He said, "I need to go get my ladder..."

Are you kidding me? Did you SEE WHAT YOUR SIGN DID?

Apparently they don't like it when the signage gets moved. My bad.